i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
