yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize