I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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