Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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