he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Naked. naked and bneed help.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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