my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
