You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
