Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
