Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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