HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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