i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
