One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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