So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
