12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
