So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
