her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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