mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
