ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
