My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
