trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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