True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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