We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
