I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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