I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
