I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize