i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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