Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Boobs are out for the taking
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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