I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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