A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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