I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
