i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
