I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
