The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
