How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
