Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
