Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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