come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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