I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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