TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
