some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize