i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize