i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
