a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
