How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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