Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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