Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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