I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize