he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
