Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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