I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
