I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
