is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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