Nicole vs. Life
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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