Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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