my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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