she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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