Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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