I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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