I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
