OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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